Rex & Regina Rat

For those of you who know what this title means, I feel for you.

On another note, Johnny Carson has died. The world of entertainment as we know it, has just gotten a whole lot shabbier.

Southwest still can't manage to get a flight out of BUR on time and no rental car places ever have cars available at BUR unless you like driving minivans when you ordered anything else.

On the plus side, Japanese food travels well in styrofoam, even on aircraft, unless you are seated next to an oaf who can't control his carry-on and blasts the poor helpless leftovers all over the plane while disembarking.

Oh, btw, Holiday Inn offers valet laundry service. I wish I could have tried that. It sounds quite decadent. I will give high marks for the throw away toothbrush which served as my savior during an unexpected over-night stay.

I sure look forward to a vacation where I get stuck somewhere nice for an extra day.

Shhh! Can you smell that?

You know how some things taste pretty much exactly the way they smell? Why then, do other things not? Take, for instance, swiss cheese. Now, normally, it's got a pretty pungent odor. But it sure doesn't taste like that! Then there's stuff like garlic....it tastes exactly the way it smells.

I'd compile a list of things that taste and smell the same and another one for the other items which don't, but I'd have to eat too much to figure it all out. Besides, then all I'd ever hear from people is, "Is does SO taste like that!" and so forth.

Too tired to sleep?

I don't know if it's some primordial part of our brains that makes it so difficult to go to sleep once you've gotten past that magical barrier of sleep deprivation. You know the one I'm talking about. Your eyes feel really fat and dry, your thinking becomes sluggish and blurred, and yet, even if you were to lay down right now, you'd still be wide awake.

Or, maybe it's something far more sinister. Like the simple fact that continuing to drink tea this late just drugs up my brain and makes it misbehave.

DRE

Ahh middle age. You've survived the horrors of teen angst and the trepidation of joining the huddled masses trudging into adulthood only to be unceremoniously faced(excuse the obvious problem of rectus inverticus) with this oh-so-personal health inspection.

Can't we just leave it at lymph nodes?

I'm sure some people reflexively clench up at times like this, what with all the rampant homophobics out there doubting their masculinity, but come on people! I bet all those folks out there with a bit of history in our lovely penal system would laugh at you for such flinching.

Personally, I just keep right on chatting with the doctor about motorcycles or scuba diving without breaking a sweat.

I'm sure you're glad to hear that and will keep my sage words of wisdom in mind at your next middle age exam.

Biscuit discovers the advantages of having an opposable thumb

Why soup is better than gummi bears

Firstly, it's salty instead of sweet. I've discovered this is especially important to men as opposed to women. Secondly, it's a liquid(mostly) and therefore easier to eat(less energy to consume) which is also a typical male desire. Lastly, it comes in cans and is therefore mostly safe from going stale. No one can debate this last item, so I'll comment on the first two.

Salt vs. Sweet
I think males are predisposed to crave salty foods, whereas women seems to mostly crave sweets. I'm not saying this is a universal constant, but let's face it, this whole chocolate thing is by FAR a female thing. Men like chips, steak, etc....you never hear a guy say, "Hey, I sure could go for some ice cream."

Liquid vs. Solid
I'll go out on a limb with this one and say that in general, men like to eat things that require little to no preparation and can be consumed as quickly as possible. So...liquids are going to win out almost every time. Unless you are me and you chew your soup anyway.